Our Sick World

I wrote a long status update on Facebook tonight and I need to expand on that further.

Our world is so sick.  Mentally sick. Start with at home, in my own backyard.  A young father and his little baby girl were murdered in a tiny little town just a couple hours from here.  The little baby girl was two.  TWO.  She hadn't even begun to live and she was taken and murdered after her father was murdered.  SHE WAS TWO.  What did a two year old ever do to anyone?

Or maybe the sickness is bigger than my backyard, where daily in my city, people are being gunned down for a bad drug deal on a daily basis.

Maybe the sickness is on a greater level, where we, as Canadians, live in a free country.  A country where you can do what you want, say what you want or wear what you want.  Maybe people who are different are the enemy who want to take us over and instill their beliefs on us and we might lose our freedoms.

Maybe we care more about saving the elephants than our own kind.

I'm writing this because this is the problem!  Save the elephants!  Syrians must die because they are fleeing a war-torn country! I'm mentally ill and the rules of society don't apply to me!  Is there anything left in this world humans can destroy?  Oh, each other?  Is that where we're at?

Syrians fleeing has nothing to do with terrorism.  In fact, the colour of their skin or their choice of religion does not make a terrorist.  These are human souls, pregnant women and two year olds and their families trying to escape their horrible lives.  Their homes have been burned and innocent women have been raped and all in the name of power.  They are running with nothing but a bag of supplies and their loved ones after their lives have been destroyed; husbands who took vows to protect their wives.  These people can stay and die after they fight to the death for their homes and lives.  Or they can flee in hopes of a janitorial job and 12 hour night shifts for the next 50 years in a two bedroom apartment to try and make it.  It is not much better...but at least they are free. At least they are safe.

I don't understand human kind at all.  How can we, on one hand pray for a little white girl to be brought home safe and in the same breath spew hatred over the colour of someone's skin who wants to be safe too?  And yet, each and every one of us KNOWS that it's wrong to behave like that.

I don't know the answers.  I just don't.  I know I want to turn it all off and just keep my head down and keep my own life mine.  It is so easy to just survive this sick world with my own bubble of peace. It's easier to have my dog sleep at my feet and know I need to work in the morning and after work I get to spend time with my loved ones.  I'm not at risk of my home being burned or pillaged or of being raped or my daughter being raped.  I don't have to worry that my son will have his arms cut off or worse, be killed for not joining in the war.

But, tomorrow when I hear that stocks have gone down again, or oil prices have slid, or someone else was murdered in cold blood, or that there are 300 more layoffs coming I will try to not judge another for lashing out at me at the grocery store.  I won't spew mean comments when I see someone poorly dressed or who maybe hasn't showered in a few days.  I won't make someone feel less of a person because they don't know how to treat others.  My journey is my own.  I don't know what someone else's journey is.  I'm not in their shoes. 

If you can't love your neighbor, at least respect them.  If you can't be kind, at least try to not be hurtful.  If you can't build someone up, walk away. Don't tear them down.  If you can't be sympathetic, and least be empathetic. 

But if you can, spread love and light. 

Insert-Town-Here Confessions

I did a bad thing.  I went onto my local "confessions" page on FB.  Every town has one and I think people like to make up a lot of crap.  It's pure garbage, and I am actually embarrassed that I sunk to that level.  I think it's garbage, really. I also think there are a lot of lonely people and a lot of sick, twisted people. Unfortunately, the posts I see repeatedly are posts of someone cheating on their significant other, usually with numerous other partners, knowing and unknowing the person is involved in a committed relationship.  That, and "I could really use a friend right now" and posts of thinking about suicide.

I know this: The older we get and the more we all hide behind technology, the lonelier we become.  I know that life is difficult, and it's easy to feel like you and you alone are failing at life.   It seems like everyone and their dog (or cat, whatever your pet of choice) has it better than you.  I know life can sometimes take us to a new town or city and it is SO damn hard to meet people.  It IS lonely!  Where on earth do you meet a nice guy (or girl) these days?  Personally, if I were in the dating pool right now, I would probably rather not date at all, given the caliber of men I tend to meet these days.  I may have got one of the last good ones.  We think of the old faithful meeting places, like bars or church groups.  2 extreme ends of the spectrum.  So in a small town, what does that leave us with?

I digress...sigh.  My concern is the utter loneliness where people beg for attention to feel validated.  When did it become okay to air that stuff so publicly?  "Feel sorry for me! I'm sad and alone and I'm better off dead!" These are still "anonymous" posts but here they are, reaching out to a public online community with suicidal thoughts!  Only to be bombarded with post of "quit attention grabbing, do it or get lost" which we all know is the wrong thing to say.

I have posted on this topic before.  People, get help.  Real help. It's not up for debate.  There are hotlines and support groups and hell, Al-Anon will provide support to someone with thoughts of suicide.  Your doctor, your urgent care or neighborhood clinic will get you resources to help you move forward!  Someone in your life cares.  Pick up the phone and talk to someone, anyone.  Be real and face that you have an issue with someone who cares about you.  Trust me.  Someone (more likely a lot of someones) will miss you if you choose not to go on living.

DON'T go on a public forum/website/Facebook page and expect that the general public will support your depression!  They won't.  Some will.  Humans, on a whole aren't bad.  I like to think generally, we all want to be good people.  But constantly seeing crap like this online makes the worst in some people come out fighting.  Everyone has crap to deal with.  Deal with it!  There is a lot of real clinical depression out there and there are a lot of attention whores.  I am not downplaying depression.  I know it is a really tough battle to face.  But for the bouts of loneliness and feelings of worthlessness that come from life's ups and downs, keep your biz-niz to yourself.  Or?  Call up a friend.  Maybe it's long distance, but someone cares.  You don't do yourself any favours by airing it to some place like Facebook.  You only set yourself up for negative retaliation.

I urge you, BEG you, to consider being real.  If you're having a bad day, shit, by all means, you are entitled to it!  If you're having a bad week or a run of bad luck, reach out to people who love you and care about you.  IT'S OKAY!  None of us lead perfect lives, despite what it looks like online.  If life is fantastic, great! Good for you! You deserve every ounce of happiness!  If you really are considering thoughts of suicide, get help!  No one wants to hear of your passing, especially that way.  It is always true; it's been said once if not a million times "I had no idea", "I wish I had known", "Could I have done something?" never mind for a second what it would do to someone you actually knew, who loved you.

I am not dripping in friends, but I do have a handful of real ones.  I know if I struggle, they are only a call away.  I know there is at least one person out there who loves me.  I'm fortunate to have a lot of love around me.  I know who wants to know my shit to use it against me, and I know who I can spill my shit to, to regain a bit of perspective.  We all have that.  Trust yourself and your inner-most circle.  And don't think you need to face your hardships alone.