Wasting Time Thinking Negative Thoughts

I stumbled upon someone I used to be very good friends with not too long ago.  It was a Facebook stumble that allowed me to see that so & so was with a bunch of other old friends at a pub together.  My entire old crew... Some who at the time were not even really friends- I was the mutual; they were sort of friends through me.  A rather odd feeling overtook me... It reeked of insecurity.  Why were they all friends now?  And surely the common ground must have been over disdain for me.  

When everything changed with me and I discovered happiness, people around me started dropping like flies.  And the worst of it was they thought I was the one screwed up!  I have never had so much bitterness rear its ugly head in my direction.  I have thought so long and so hard as to WHY I became the bad person; their outlet for poison.  Even as I write this, I don't want to sound all high and mighty... Something in each of us changed and we no longer mixed well.  And to be quite frank, I have to let it all go because it's not worth it to get all worked up.  But still... Being that I was so close with these people before makes me wonder what it is that is their common ground; because a consistent factor is me.  And so, do they talk about me?  Do they trash talk and bond over that crap?  Because people do that.  The old adage, 'misery loves company' rings true.  And my feelings are hurt and I feel badly about myself.....

I shouldn't, though.  I really shouldn't waste the energy.  I know that today I am a better person than I was then.  Maybe I need to apologize to them... I certainly wasn't my best.  But I thought I was good enough... Why, at my best am I no longer good enough?  There's a punch to the self-esteem.  

Forget it.  Life moves forward, and if you do ever try to go back, it usually is a lot different than you thought it might be.   Shake it off sister, embrace who you are and love yourself.  Be thankful for the good in your life, because my life is really full.  It's full of love and joy and peace and laughter.  I have wonderful friends; those who stuck by me, I have a good man, I have awesome teenagers and a strong, loving and supportive family. 

Remember: What someone else thinks of you is none of your business.  

Stay strong.  Stay positive.  Stay true to yourself.  Actions always speak louder than words.