It has been so long since I've written! My job has been keeping me far too busy for me to entertain my hobbies.
I wanted to write about something that was on my mind...Pyramid Schemes. Years ago, I'd split up with my ex and found myself in a precarious spot, having to come up with a damage deposit and modest accommodations for myself and my 2 small children. Armed with fear of the unknown, out of the blue (and I gotta say, looking back, the timing was uncanny) I was contacted by an old friend I hadn't been in touch with for several years. She said she had a business opportunity for me and how would I like to meet up with her for coffee that evening. I will never look a gift horse in the mouth, and it had been ages since we'd visited. I was in a place where I could use a friend.
She picked me up that evening and asked if I minded going to a meeting with her before we had coffee; it would give me a chance to see what this opportunity was all about. I immediately felt a red flag go up. When she pulled into a hotel parking lot, another alarm bell went off in my head. I knew this was going to be bullshit. Kids: If you ever hear of something amazing going on at a hotel... I promise you 100% of the time, it's bullshit. My mom told me years ago when they would have "leather blowouts" located in hotels, that maybe 5 products will be "as low as 99$" and the rest will be overpriced and under quality. Even today, I hear about that Rich Dad seminar which is ALWAYS limited seating, at some sleazy hotel and they'll tell you how to make money fast... sure, they'll brag about it for 2 solid hours and get you pumped but will tell you nothing. No, you'll have to spend 3500$ on their "how to make it in an uncertain economy" package. Just trust me, anything in a hotel aside from something directly related to your job, a wedding or a vacation or work trip is bullshit. I digress... So I'm swept into this room, and it's all top secret stuff; no one says anything until the bragging is over. The music is pumping and my girl friend is dressed to the nines (dress-for-success! This all seems very legit to her) and the speeches start. It's such crap! It's called Treasure Traders and you get real emerald gems (which I believe are probably glass chunks of no value at all) and you get to move up by signing people up and you become "captain" of your "shit"- I mean "ship"!! (I actually had a Freudian slip there! Haha!) The concept is so juvenile to me. Really? Jewels and gems and pirates and captains and ships? For real? Are we 6 years old? Everyone who speaks is very well dressed and seem well spoken. We hear success stories and sob stories and stories of rags to riches. The whole time, I KNOW this is bullshit; what's wrong with my girl friend... She's a smart woman! She's educated. She's intelligent. She's... what the hell, man? She's eating this shit up! I keep looking over at her with a look of full disbelief. I even leaned over and scoffed "This seems awfully childish; pirate ships; seriously??" She told me, "Keep an open mind." Is she seriously believing this crap? And what's worse, she thinks it's a great opportunity!!
Finally, they disclose the signup fees. 1800$?????? Are you f*cking kidding me!! THIS IS WHAT SHE BROUGHT ME HERE TO DO???? I looked at her and politely told her, "I need to move out; where in the hell am I supposed to get 1800$??" But what's even worse, is she thinks I've actually bought into this crap and offers to PAY for my package. All I have to do is recruit. (I have to ask someone to pay me 1800$ to come on my ship so I can be a captain, hell no! This isn't kindergarten; I'm positive anyone I approached would outright ridicule my utter stupidity!) Ummmm, no... and THEN she states that I shouldn't worry about a thing, because she already has half of the recruits waiting, so all I have to do is find another 4.. or something like that. Then I'll collect the 16000$ I am supposed to when I'm captain and I can pay her back for the sign up when our "ship" is full. 16000$, I shit you not! No further strings. (And this would be her 4th ship...she'd already made some coin off this,) She's pushing me now. And I like her and I respect her and she's not an idiot... really, what do I have to lose then? I still feel like this is totally crap, but I have nothing to lose and about 14000$ to gain. Am I completely stupid? Did I miss something legit in this absolutely juvenile ponzi marketing bullshit speech? So I allow her to sign me up with her money. We leave, we have coffee, she pumps up "the program" some more and she let's me sob that my life has fallen apart. She promises me we'll get rich and I won't have to worry any longer. We didn't speak again after that night.
I still look back and remember her saying, "I wanted to go back to work and I didn't want to have to go back for 30k/year. I figured it would only be worth my while if I could make as much as my husband." I don't know what he did, exactly, but I know he made pretty good coin; probably close to 80k/ year, plus company vehicle. I remember her telling me once that she was a teacher. When we met, in the late 90's, I don't know what a teacher salary was, but I'm going to guess less than 40k/year. And she had been out of the work force for many years having stayed home with her children. She had a point, but still it baffled me. She liked money and she enjoyed her husband's money frivolously, but to be pulled into something like that? She was also about one of the toughest in strength and character of any woman I'd known at that time in my life. She didn't take any crap from anyone, she was opinionated, she was a rock...so I was completely bewildered by her passion for this. I was naive, in my twenties, vulnerable and broke... and still, I saw right through this. I remember her telling me that evening that she was going to make so much money that she was signing up for a business license with the City of Calgary to make this a legit home-based business. I wonder whatever became of her. How much did she lose in that scheme? Because a few years later I'd read about how it had been shut down and was under investigation for fraud. I read some of the whistle-blower reports, and attack stories after people had lost thousands. I'd felt bad. I avoided her calls after that. I had cost her 1800$ by having her foot this for me. I was a terrible friend. (This is what I was thinking!) I look back now and think, I could have been the idiot! I could have pushed my FRIENDS into this. I didn't once ask her to do this for me. I didn't once believe that anything would ever come from it! I never had any intention of finding the other four people. Let her fill her own ship! Somehow I had enough wits about me that I saw the ship sink before I went aboard.
Oh they're out there. Shady and legit pyramids; each of them promising rags-to-riches and freedom and success. But only if you get your "friends" under you. I still get approached for "business opportunities" and they all have red flags and they're all the same. Qwixstar/ Amway people will tell you "we should meet for a coffee and discuss" but disclose nothing. "It's a good deal, I promise, I'll fill you in when we talk"; which usually ends up with a spiel without full disclosure until you commit. It's just, they can't tell you until you commit; it's very confidential. (Gad, who ARE the people who fall for this!?) Or there's the hotel "meetings". Again, never any details, but if it's held in a hotel, you KNOW it's crap. It's always the ones you think have their head screwed on, and you trust them, so why wouldn't you find out how they're making cash? I've never had an idiot approach me for one of these scams. Never. You'd think an idiot asking you about a business opportunity would be a red flag, but no, it's the normal, smart, respectable, seemingly intelligent people who want to suck you in and yet, you already know it's bullshit. Sometimes, you have a conversation with a friend and you talk about how nice a fancy vacation would be, and a new wardrobe and no financial worries for you family, and a new car and play money and then they hit you, "I can tell you how". I'm kinda too nice, you know? I can never say no to a friend even though I understand before they even spiel me that this is going to be a waste of time. Well, no, that isn't entirely true. The LAST time I was hit up for something like this, I flat out said, "if it's a pyramid scheme, count me out. I don't do those and I don't want to waste your time." I went anyway. Because I was told, "no, that's not it at all." Why are all of these people so shady and tricky and why do I know better every single time?? And then I politely bow out, and I feel rotten that I've basically called them a liar. Or I get upset and insult them by saying "this scam will never get me, or you or anyone you know, rich. And I would appreciate you never contacting me again about this." So maybe I use the word "friend" loosely. I should maybe refer to them as acquaintances. I have severed many an acquaintance over these scams.
I may work for the man. I may not have full financial freedom. I may be stuck in the corporate rat-race, but I will always be able to say, I did it on my own. I made my own way. I collect a steady paycheque. I have benefits. I work hard. It's an honest living. So if you see me in your circle of "friends" and want to approach me about these things because you've found a great new opportunity, just know, you won't ever get rich. You will never be able to sell me on the idea. And I may sever our relationship.
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